A First Date

On Friday, I'm going on my first, first date in 2 years.

Except my date is with my boyfriend. Who I’ve been with for 2 years.

My boyfriend and I never really did the “dating” thing when we got together. We had been friends for years and then it turned into something more. So, I never had to go through that dread of awkward dinner dates with a guy I met on Tinder.

However, this “first date” isn’t simply to catch up on awkward small talk that we missed during those dreaded first dates. Recently, we’ve had some drama that caused us to take some time apart. We figured we needed to go back to basics to remind ourselves why we fell in love in the first place.

So, we’ve decided to have a first date. We’re going for dinner, which isn’t a usual thing for us to do anyway but I’m feeling the pressure.

How am I supposed to act? This is the man who pops the spots on my back that I can’t reach; who shaves his beard whilst I have a wee and we catch up on our day; who has watched me fall over drunk; who rates my burps out of 10 and who has literally caught my sick in his hands, so we didn’t have to pay a fine from a taxi company.

My point is, this man has seen me in some pretty shocking states, he knows my worst fears, seen embarrassing pictures and, quite frankly, knows me better than I know myself. Is it humanly possibly to start right over?

Do I ignore the fact he’s seen my leg hair be worse than his and shave head to toe? Do I go all out with my make up even though he’s seen me covered in sudocream in my little mermaid pyjamas? Do I fake tan even though he hates it because I get it on his shirt? Heels?!

Yes, I’m sh*ting it.

This guy has been my best friend since I was 14. He witnessed every embarrassing thing I’ve ever done, and I’ve watched him grow too. Now I’m trying to impress someone who already knows all my flaws.

If I thought typical first dates were hard, I think I’ve found something harder.

I’m sat here with 4 days until the date, and I have to wonder, can we wind back the clock on relationships? Can we really go back and start again? I’ve always envied video games. You mess up, you just hit the reset button and start all over again. Is there really a metaphorical relationship reset button?

Love from,

The Girl

xx